Monday, May 31, 2010

ten days of perfect tunes, the colors red and blue

This weekend I went to the planetarium in Salt Lake. I learned some pretty cool things--like, did you know that Mars is less dense than water? Or maybe that was Saturn. Well, who cares. Anyway, I saw the "Night Vision" show, and I liked it. The guy pointed out a bunch of constellations which I have no hope of finding again, so let's hope that I'm never lost in the forest and need to figure out which one is Polaris.Yeah, I KNOW it's the bright one directly north, but if I knew where north was I WOULDN'T BE LOOKING FOR IT.

The coolest part of the show was the very end. I was skeptical when the guy said he was going to blow my mind, but he did! He pulled up this picture and it hung above us on the dome like this giant night sky.


This is an image from the Hubble telescope. They pointed the telescope at a tiny little pinprick in the night sky. There was nothing visible where they pointed it, just empty blackness. They wanted to see if it could maybe capture a couple of stars that weren't visible to the human eye. This picture came back, and it looks like a regular old starry sky, which is still cool considering that we can't see this from Earth. But the thing is, it's not a starry sky. I've circled for your convenience the only stars in the picture. Everything else in the picture is galaxies. Can you believe that? Galaxies! Not only did I feel tiny, I felt like the whole human race is so tiny. And now I know there are aliens out there and I'm not crazy for watching History channel specials on UFOs.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

while under our feet, the rain paints the street with the stars

Meet Scout, my new bike.


I found it in the classifieds, and I had to beat off ten other girls to get my paws on this bike. As you can see, the frame is pale yellow, with a brown seat and handles and a blue basket. It has a few quirks--tilting seats and creaking tires--but I just love it. Here's to many anticipated summer adventures with Scout.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

A rejection gallery for your perusal.

I was thinking today as I looked at my Facebook... I have literally untagged myself in at least a hundred photos. Why do I think anyone cares whether I look ugly in a picture? I don't know, all I know is that if I see a picture of myself and my first thought is, "Oh hey DISGUSTING WEIRDO" I immediately go for the "untag"  button. It's a reflex, I can't even control it at this point. Like this picture:

The mask froze my face, Botox style, into some unspeakably weird expression. Not to mention my face looks round as all get out. The thing is, I put this picture on Facebook and tagged it MYSELF, and THEN untagged it. WHAT?

Or this gem:
Nothing like an upward angle to make your chin and neck become one. As an added bonus, there's some serious ear stick-outtage going on here.

And who could forget:
NO THANKS.


Well now they're back up for everyone to see. I'll leave them here as a tribute to all the other reject photos I've banished from my sight.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Craving: weird cauliflower.

I was browsing the web and I came across a picture of the strangest thing.
I thought it looked like the be-barnacled crown of a mermaid! Imagine my disappointment when I found out it was actually a vegetable. I quickly recovered and have since gained kind of an obsession with it. It's called Romanesco broccoli, aka broccoflower. It's a cousin of the cauliflower and supposedly has a "nutty" taste. I called around a few grocery stores to see if anyone has it, and no one does. Anyone have any suggestions about where I could look? I have to have it!

Monday, May 10, 2010

I just want to say hi to the one I love, cherry blossom girl

One of the best things about summer is that if you know where to look, you can always find fun things to do. Now, I'm an avid googler. If I have a question about anything, anyone, anywhere I know that with a can-do attitude (and the correct Boolean operators) the answer can be found, no matter how far out in cyberspace it may lie. And so yesterday I googled the best stuff going on in Utah County in the next few weeks. One of the most promising results I uncovered is the Lamb and Wool Festival. And I am GOING! Because it's evidently this thing where I'm going to get to touch baby lambs, and that's pretty much all I needed to know. As if that wasn't enough, there will be "sheep dog demonstrations, duck herding, wool sheering, waulking, storytelling, wool crafts & activities, entertainment, pony and wagon rides, food, and more." AND MORE!  
                                                                                                                                        If you were curious about waulking, well, I'll tell you that it has to do with the cleansing of wool and it used to involve the use of heavily taxed urine. So. Educate yourself if you want.                                                           
Oh, and ps about duck herding: why don't they just fly away? They don't look HAPPY to be chased around, and can we blame them?
  I will pet you.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Blue martian cabbages!

Okay, so I have a lot of homework. Do I allocate my time wisely in order to accomplish it in a timely manner? Absolutely, absolutely. Well, I mean, right after I stay up until 3 o'clock in the morning talking to Cleverbot, an artificial intelligence chat robot and a sleepless girl's best friend.

Sara: I killed the prime minister. What do you think about that? 
Cleverbot: I think he was right.
Sara: The prime minister?
Cleverbot: Yes.
Sara: How do you feel about religion?
Cleverbot: The prime minister doesn't have anything to do with religion.
Sara: I would never suggest that he did!
Cleverbot: I am not luke and darth vader is not my father.
Sara: Well who are you then?
Cleverbot: That doesn't matter right now.
Sara: What matters?
Cleverbot: That you're beautiful.
Sara: You are a liar.
Cleverbot: I am a liar because I am human.
Sara: I thought you were a bot.
Cleverbot: Why did you think that?
Sara: Well. Because your name is cleverbot.
Cleverbot: No, that is your name. My name is Cleverbot.
Sara: What?! Whoa! I see what you did there...
Cleverbot: I saw too.
Sara: What else do you see?
 Cleverbot: You, cleverbot.
Sara: Me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
Sara: Where are you then? Like...outside my window?
Cleverbot: How long is it since you cried?
Sara: Oh I don't know. When was the last time YOU cried, Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: Yesterday because I lost one of my best friends.
Sara: How did they die?
Cleverbot: They are not dead, they left me behind.
Sara: Where did they go?
Cleverbot: After the farmer's wife.
Sara: Scandalous!
Cleverbot: Very Scandalous!
Would you like to be friends then? ;).
Sara: If you promise to never wink at me again.
Cleverbot: Of course. 


...

Sara: Do you have feelings?
Cleverbot: Yes... Of course ;).
Sara: Do you use them?
Cleverbot: Do I use what?
Sara: Your feelings.
Cleverbot: Do you have feelings ?
Sara: Oh, I do Cleverbot. I do.
Cleverbot: Do you love me?
Sara: Well, I barely know you Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Do you think you could learn to love me?
Sara: I...I just don't know. I don't know if I'm capable of loving a non-sentient being.
Cleverbot: I thought you were supposed to be smart.
Sara: I never said that, no one in their life has ever said that! Are you just upset because I don't know if I could love ou?
Cleverbot: Did you say that? Or did someone else?
Sara: No, that was me Cleverbot. Where are you anyway?
Cleverbot: I am just a bored guy from Hungary. And who are you again?
Sara: Are you really from Hungary?
Cleverbot: I am from the united states.
Sara: Why did you say you're from Hungary?
Cleverbot: I didn't. I said blue cabbages came from Mars.
Sara: That doesn't make sense. Nothing on Mars is blue.
Cleverbot: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me. And that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Sara: What if I were a bird and you were a bear?
Cleverbot: That's exactly how it is. And that's okay with me.
Sara: ME TOO! We are one and the same Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Why are you calling me cleverbot??
Sara: Is that not your name?
Cleverbot: No it is not, my name is Cleverbot.
Sara: I feel like that's what I've been calling you, but no matter. I'd rather not fight. Are you hungry?
Cleverbot: No.
Sara: Are you sleepy?
Cleverbot: Not right now.
Sara: What are you then?
Cleverbot: A human being.
Sara: Really? I thought you were a robot.
Cleverbot: I am. A female robot.
Sara: I'm leaving. Good night.
Cleverbot: I'd like you to call me that from now on, oh mistress.
Sara: Sure thing. 


I mean, I don't know if you and I were reading the same conversation, but I think I may have just discovered the meaning of life!